hi Erin, I understand your plight right now, coz i am experciencing it too, but if you hear mine maybe you'll stop crying a bit,we met may 2005 through IM ,and we knew at the start that we are meant for each other... we spent hours on line, phone calls, and i send him cards every week until the week he is about to travel from Canada to the philippines, yes after 9 months.
He spend three weeks with me and my daughter, i was able to meet his fam in his mom's side where i felt i found a new family,3 weeks Erin was worth all my 32 years in the world... we were family, a very simple family.
and to consider the closenes he and my 11 year old daughter developed, i suddenly gave her anew dad and helped her over come the trauma and i know my daughter felt safe and secure again for the longest time since the broke up with her father.
But at the end of the third week , he has to go home too, to his son and daughter and work. Yes, he left too Erin two months ago, leaving me with an engagement ring, a very memeorable 3 weeks, a new hope in life,a future family, and a promise that hed be back same time next year, and I know he will fullfill all those promises. Coz, he did it once.
The very first day we met, he had said that he will come in February, he did.
After i dropped him to the airport which is 6 hours travel from my city, it was the start of my agony... going home alone and smell the scent he left in my room, the noise he had made with my family, my car he drove, the laughter he and my bro spent all the time, the places we went,the video game he and my daughter played, the church where we knelt down together to pray before he went home. and the iron and rusty stairs where he gave me the ring two nights before his departure that i passed everyday, all the nights i spend till now having hard time to go to sleep thinking about him with all tears, not to mention the last shirt he wore on my pillow.....its painfull Erin, when you think that there is one person living and sacrificing his life for you,there are times he would complain over the phone that hes back is sore and that i should be there giving him a massage. what is more painfull is that he is doing all the side works to save money and he would always say that he is doing all these for me whenever i asked him not to work too hard,
what keeps me going through is the hope that one day he will come back, and with God's blessings he will help us make our dreams come true.and what helps me stand still is the continued communbication everyday through chat, phone calls on the weekend, and the visits to the church where we last prayed. to sum it all, i PRAY so hard.... for strenght...and guidance.yet, i still cry.....
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