Story of the Week
If you haven't heard yet, we launched a brand new Long Distance Relationship Advice site!
This site maintains the same theme as Loving Your Long Distance Relationship, with some exciting new features like ...
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Take a minute in your day to enjoy a heart warming story that will make you laugh, cry, applaud...and realize that You Are Not Alone in the long-distance relationship experience!
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Wishing you love, passion, & happiness in your relationship,
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Long Distance Relationship
My boyfriend and I conversed, via Internet chat and e-mail, for awhile before meeting in person. He was going to school in Boulder, completing his Masters. I am a single mom, 3 children. Ours is was already a non-traditional relationship, in the fact that he is 9 years younger than me, and our lives are so completely different. We fell in love quite quickly, and started spending all of our free time together--still a 60-mile commute.
He just moved back home, to MI, this past week, in order to continue seeking fulfilling employment. Meanwhile, I am moving, also, to the Denver area. Our phone bills have been phenomenal over the course of the past 5 months. My boyfriend has always had a very optimistic viewpoint on the course of our relationship, and I totally respect his desire to succeed. His priorites are "in the right pew," so to speak. Yet, my insecurity and complete doubt over our relationship being able to carry forth nearly ruined it for good. I started to distance myself from him, quit some time before he even left the state of Colorado. My idealogy of "the perfect relationship" did not include long-distance. Yet, each time I was with my boyfriend, I KNEW that I loved him, trusted him, and wanted only him for my future mate. Eventually, I was able to start having faith in our relationship. I am thankful that he "hung in there," even when I thought I could not handle it. We are now at the beginning of the TRUE test--since we are incredibly far apart now. Yet, I know that he loves me. He knows that I love him.
Your book was very helpful, in the fact that it identified specific stages that each partner experiences during the separation time. It also helped me to see the strength and the hope of one who believes in commitment. I am deeply committed to my boyfriend, and to only him, and I now see no reason why time cannot pass, allowing each one of us to determine and redirect some goals for ourselves, accomplishing new things! --yet, each loving the other. This is really exciting to me, a new hope, and a new freshness in my feelings for my boyfriend, no matter how far away he is. I will not deny that I absolutely despise the distance. Yet, acceptance of the way things are, for now, really helps. I actually tried to "sabotage" the relationship before he left, because I had allowed my fear to take over.
Now, I am able to be positive in looking forward to the next time he and I can be together, and the next time we can talk. Right now, for each of us, finances ARE an issue. Yet, it has not stopped us from calling one another, and we e-mail every day, sometimes several times a day. I am so in love with my boyfriend, and I truly care about his needs, and he truly cares about mine. That is true love, and I am not willing to just "throw in the towel" and give that up. He and I also talk online, via Internet chatting. This enables us, further, to have daily contact of some sort. I am thankful that I have not "called it quits," and I look forward to seeing wh! at the future holds for each of us, until we can finally be together. Once that happens, I may just stare at him, and hold him, for such a long time, that neither one of us will get anything done! ha!
Love is such a special thing, something that is rare for so many people. I am willing to continue working on this, and to try and look for the solutions to bring us closer together. When I am feeling down, and pessimistic about what he and I have to endure right now, I have to remind myself of what I love about him in the first place: he is my best friend, mature, determined, brilliant, caring, sensitive, understanding, trustworthy, honorable, strong-willed, good-looking, sexy, charming, witty, and fun! And, we share many hours of special moments together, moments that I have never shared with another soul. He loves me, and truly cares about my well-being. So, do I want to give this up? Why would I do that? :)
Jane from Colorado, USA
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