Story of the Week
If you haven't heard yet, we launched a brand new Long Distance Relationship Advice site!
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Long Distance Relationship
Kurt and I met through a friend nine months ago. Although we lived only a few miles apart and grew up in the same town we had never met. We both travel a lot due to our respective jobs (he is a Merchant Seaman and I compete on the East coast show jumping circuit). We began a friendship early this year and it began to become more serious this fall. He just left for three months to travel over seas to work. He works for a few months, then comes home for a couple of months. He says he, "works to support his real life." Which happily now includes me!
One point that I don't feel the books have covered in detail is how to handle a separation that comes at a point in the relationship when the "almost falling in love" feelings are being established. A relly great thing for Kurt and I is that we know that this relationship is important to us and that we are committed to waiting for each other, to be together again and see what comes of it.
We have told each other that we care deeply for the other and it was definatly incredibly difficult to say goodbye. It's a tricky situation when the relationship is new and your torn away from the one you feel you are starting to fall in love with. I'm not really concerned with the fidelity aspect of being separated, but more with the point that I have waited such a long time to meet someone like Kurt who makes me feel the way he does, that if he was ever to be taken away unwillingly and I never saw him again....well you know... It's great to be grateful for what we have had, yet unbearable to consider it could be over. I feel that the ability to be reassured is not as easily attained for fear of rushing each other into saying "I love you" and making a serious committment, before it would naturally occur were we not being separated at this crucial time. Regardless, Kurt and I will continue to email and though the phone calls as well as postal serice will be minimal, if at all, we both dream together of what the future may hold for us.
I have read all three of the LDR books (in one night!!) From what I gather, we are taking the best steps we can and hopefully we'll find that this is fact...the love of a lifetime! We have made plans to travel together when he returns and the thought of our reunion and the memories we have made in the past couple of months seem as though they will sustain us...In fact I'm sure of it. As Garth Brooks says in his song "The Dance", "I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance."
The pain of temporary separation is nothing compared to the joy I feel with Kurt. It is a completely new feeling for me. I wonder what I was thinking when I thought I was in love at other times of my life....I guess this is what "they" mean when they say, "You'll just know." Thank you Stephen and Kimberli for the books, they have been inspiring. Sincerely, Kelly
Kelly, Lancaster, MA, USA
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