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Long Distance Relationship
I would like to share with you my long distance relationship story and to let you know that it can work if you want to make it work. Two things can detroy you two. You yourself, or people from outside.
It all happend last summer. I start hanging out with a daughter of my family friend. We were totally different, but because of our parents we would go out sometimes just for a drink, talk a bit .....
She was always telling me about her cute cousin who lived in Detroit. We are from Montreal (Canada). I was not really interesting because I just got out of one long relationship and was really heart broken. Another thing was that long distance relationship was not really my thing. (10 hours drive..... I did not even wanted to think about it).
My friend would always go on and on about him, how cute, good looking, amazing, gentleman her cousin was. She showed me few pictures of him...... seemed to me nothing special.... ( guess because I was not interested).
One day, at the end of summer 2002, I had a trouble with my computer and my friend said that her cousin is on computer a lot (he's a computer expert) and if I want to add him on MSN and ask him to help me out, he would not mind.
Thats exactly how it happend. I introduced myself, told him I heard he would be able to help me..... and thats how we met. He helped me with computer, giving me perfect instruction and everything.
Since then every time we would see each other online we would chat about everything. We talked few times on the phone. He seemed really honest and funny guy and I enjoyed talking to him.
That was going on about good three months, until he told me that he will be coming with his family to Montreal for a week.I was happy to hear that and we said that once he comes here we would go out at least for a drink and get to know each other better. He, Ben, just got out of serious relationship, about the same time like I did, and I thought that our friendship is exactly what we need.
Until the day he came. I kept saying its just a friendship, but the day he came, I called in sick at work. I did not wanted to wait until 6pm to see him..... I went over my friend's place in the morning. I am still not sure did I really like him, or was he was just a good comform to me when I was going through really tough time in my life.
Oh my.... I still remember every second when we met each other. It was love at first sight. It must have been. We just smiled at each other....
Well that afternoon, my friend had to go to work and he did not wanted to stay home with parents and his uncle. So I said let me show you around. We had a blast. We were just friends, but we was still holding my hand (he said he does not want to get lost), we were really having a blast. I remember, we were walking from the car to the bank machine when he just suddenly turned and gave me a big smootch. I was lost.... I am telling you. He says that he just had to do it.... seeing me putting chapstick on my lips every 5 minutes..... my lips were just irresistible.
Another surprice..... late in the evening, after exhausted day, we were on our way home, when we saw mine, his and my friend's parents sitting all together, having like a small family party. It was such a surprised. Then we figured it all out.
My father, his father and father of my friend all went to same school back in Italy. It was like a reunion for them. That's how it all started. He came back again in December 2002, stayed here for Christmas and New Year's... oh was it ever amazing.
I have to mention that everything was not smooth. His cousin became so jealous. We still do not know the right reason. There was a time when I would see her and she would tell me that he is not a guy for me, that he sleeps around, does awful things, goes out all the time ....but she did not know that I was talking to him every day. She was also telling him things about me, even though she did not know me at all. Yes, I was afraid that Ben would believe her more then me cause she is his cousin... and who am I.... just a girl he met. There was a time when Linda, his cousin was dating this guy that her family did not approve and we would have to hide things for her. We would give her our car, she would go with this guy and we would sit in restourant for hours or in some bar waiting for her to come back so we can lie to her parents. She never said, well Ben is here for few days, why dont you guys have a good time.... Never. She never said thank you guys for helping me out. I was crying for days and was not able to tell Ben anything at all. Until the day I screamed and told him everything what's in my mind. Everything she told me about him and that I was afraid. I guess that's when he really opened his eyes and had to choose.
It was me and all happiness with me, or his cousin and lies. He choosed me. He told me all she said about me.... and we both realised that it was a big fat lie. We both knew better.
It was the hardest first two months of the relationship. I told him openly that I care about him, about us, that I liked him a lot and if he wanted to make it work we can, but we have to make sure that no other people are going to butt in because it can only destroy us. He agreed to it and here we are a year later.
It has been just amazing. We talk every day, we see each other every month. My parents love him, and when he comes in Montreat he is staying at my place. His parents are also amazing and everybody is for us. His mom became like my best friend. I can sit down and talk with her for hours. She told some things about Linda and that every family has a black sheep. That people are cruel and we just have to be careful. She even told Ben what a nice girl I seem and he should let me go just because people are talking around. Trust your instincts. His mom knew that his cousin would try things, because Ben's aunt tried to seperate Ben's parents back in Italy about 28 years ago.
To be honest with you, it has been hard because we miss each other, but we believe in each other and believe that we are soulmates. We know that we can make it work if we want to be with each other. We are honest and whatever is on your minds we do tell. We have nothing to hide. Whether is it a fear or not we talk about it. We are real with each other, comfortable about everything and we understand our thoughts, wishes and desires. Currently we are just trying to save some money, even thought its kind of immposible cause traveling back and forth every month is a huge expense.
Our next plan is him moving to Montreal. He has been learning French, but also his company that he works for in Detroit is global and he got an opportunity to move to Montreal as English representative. Next year hopefully, this time, we will be living together .... we will continue our amazing journey.
We all know that it is hard but you can make it work if you want. Be honest with each other, be there for each other (life is not easy). Be understanding and even if you are not a person with big communication skills, you can became all that.
Thank you Ben for everything, for being here for me, for understanding, for believing in me, for giving me a chance, for all amazing time we spend together.... for being so strong and patient. This is our time and we will be together...... you will see. Je t'aime Ben.
Mary, Montreal, CANADA
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